Alien Sex and Illinois Law
by Caipora
Summary: A campaigner against "Harry Potter Porn" finds out - the hard way - what happens when jihads inspire pogroms.
1. Alien Sex and Illinois Law

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On December 4th, an author of porographic Star Trek fanfiction appealed to her fellow trekkies to join a campaign, or perhaps a jihad, against "Harry Potter Porn". 

Concerned by discovering sites without warning messages, containing mature themes with juvenile protagonists, she decided to act. Did she take a measured approach, emailing the webmasters of these sites, alerting them about the lack of warnings and requesting action? 

No, she decided that the indicated response was to write Letters to the Editor of local papers, using "fightin' words" like "pedophilia" and "incest": The campaign seemed designed to produce uninformed and immoderate reaction. She or one of her cohorts later bragged of siccing a Warner Brothers lawyer on a webmaster. 

She was criticized in one forum and promptly abandoned it. In another she stopped reading the threads she had started, and then left it, alleging a need to work on her "traffic engineering thesis". 

She abandoned forums and shut off arguments, but showed no inclination to abandon her position or open her mind. How can you reason with someone like that? I put her real name into Google, and found some of her real life activities, such as opposing a plan to widen a highway near her home and make it safer. 

Her real life seemed to display the same rigidity and combativeness as her on-line persona, the same fixation on her neighborhood and disregard for others, just as her real world texts displayed the same writing flaws as her stories. 

Reason seemed a dead end. But then I thought of what the legal status of her Spock texts might be under Illinois law. A brief check, again thanks to Google, confirmed my suspicions. 

Below is a "news item" inspired by Catheine Kay's writing and her campaign. I'm sure we've all read very similar items, in the **Daily Prophet** or elsewhere. 

Chapter 2 is a selection from the original post and other posts supporting it. I include it to acknowledge my debt to "Catherine Kay" and her friends, lest I be accused of plagiarism as well as the charges she levels against all authors of "Harry Potter porn". 

There's a long tradition of fiction done as letters or news items. "Dracula" is written that way, for example. This conveys an opinion, but also tells a story. 

* * *

G___ ,ILLINOIS, Dec 9 — In a pre-dawn raid today, heavily armed local police and FBI agents stormed the home of local resident M__ A__ K___, accused of being kingpin of an Internet bestiality pornography ring. 

The charges are based on writings that K___ posted on the Internet over a period of years, under the name of "Catherine Kay". 

The raid is the first application of the new Illinois bestiality laws, passed this year as HB1019. That bill amended Section 12-35 of the 1961 criminal code to provide that "17 (d) A person may not knowingly engage in, promote, aid, or abet any activity involving any sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal for a commercial or recreational purpose." The statute goes on to specify "'Animal' means every creature, either alive or dead, other than a human being." 

"Her writings clearly promote sexual contact between human beings and non-human creatures," an official noted. Extracts of Catherine Kay's writings supported the affirmation. Those writings are not appropriate for reproduction in a family newspaper. 

"We don't yet have proof that she made money from this, but that doesn't reduce the seriousness of the crime," said a police spokesman. "The law includes 'recreational purpose' as a crime. We haven't yet completed our investigation of how K____ sustained her family, but I can give you one word: traffic." 

One of the crowd attracted to C_____ Lane by the police vehicles and news crews, identified himself as K___'s pastor but refused to give his name. He appeared shaken by the arrest of what he called a "model parishioner". Still, he expressed support for the police action, saying, "The Bible tells us bestiality is a crime, and that Man was created in God's image. The Good Book does not anywhere suggest that the Supreme Being has pointy ears." 

There are frequent references in "Catherine Kay's" writing to a "Spock". Authorities were unable at press time to confirm if this referred to Dr. Benjamin Spock, the notorious left-wing pediatrician, one of whose former patients was this year denied parole in connection with the 1970's Brinks armored car robbery which left two policemen dead. 

A source in the district attorney's office who asked not to be named, said that besides computers, uniforms were also seized. The source refused to speculate whether the uniforms were a link to paramilitary organizations or right wing "citizen's militias." "What concerns and saddens me the most," he said "is that some of the uniforms were in children's sizes." 

Several unusual handguns were removed by the bomb squad. 

"We have confirmed her participation in a local group attempting to impede a Federally-financed project to improve passenger safety. We're hoping that this, combined with the seriousness of the other charges, will permit us to bring her before a military tribunal," said a spokesman for the prosecutor's office. 

"That connection was the 'smoking gun'," the official continued. "One of the writings posted under her on-line persona, Catherine Kay, mimicked one of the Dr. Seuss children's books. A Letter to the Editor under her real name opposing the Government used exactly the same children's rhyme. Once we had that, we had an English professor compare other writings. He found the same misspellings, the same grammatical errors, the same repetition and overuse of adjectives." 

He added, "The bestiality is bad enough. But I never in my wildest dreams thought anyone would take a children's book and do with it what this author has done and try to justify it in the name of artistic expression or political dissent. I hope the tribunal throws the book at her." 

A Federal law enforcement official participating in the raid, when asked about First Amendment issues, said, "Don't get me wrong. I am all for freedom of speech. I am not in favor of censorship, but I think sometimes it is necessary … like in time of war, for example." 

The family pets were seized and conveyed to the Humane Society for examination. 

The suspect's four children have been placed with a foster family in a secure and undisclosed location. A psychologist who has been assigned to work with the children expressed hope that she will be able to recover repressed memories. 

Officials refused to confirm if K____'s husband was also in custody, and if so on what charges. "We don't have to tell you that. Or him, either." said one man in an FBI bulletproof vest and sun glasses who refused to give his name. 

The G__ chief of police took pride in his department's role in the arrest. "We've done our bit to clean up our community, here in the US of A. But these people are all over the world. Let's face it, we're never gonna stop these sickos but we can make it difficult for them to continue. If we don't rock the boat, then these people who host these websites are going to continue luring innocent children to their sites and promoting bestiality. Although they refuse to see this." 

The crowd filling C____ Lane appeared stunned by the discovery of an Internet pornography ring on their quiet street. K____ was described as "a concerned mother" and a "polite neighbor who was always ready to help." Still, one sentiment was repeatedly echoed by mothers in the crowd, "If it saves just one child, it will be worthwhile." 


	2. Appendix - Source Material

On December 4th, an author of porographic Star Trek fanfiction appealed to her fellow trekkies to join a campaign, or perhap a jihad, against "Harry Potter Porn". My response to that is the body of the first chapter of this story. 

I have to acknowledge that many of the ideas came directly from others, though they acquire a meaning here of which the original authors might not approve. 

The legal text is from a bill unanimously passed by the Illinois House this year. I do not know if it became law. I did not have to alter it in the slightest. 

The intent of this appendix is to acknowledge, inform, instruct, and hopefully to amuse. Part of the fun of any parody in knowing just what is being twisted. While this debate took place only a week ago in forums closely linked to Harry Potter fan fiction, this recapitulation is intended as a service to the reader who doesn't care to wade through several threads. 

I haven't included the complete posts, nor the vastly more numerous and more articulate posts against censorship. This is supposed to be entertaining appendix, not a political debate; ff.n isn't the place for that. 

* * *

There are posts there by "Catherine Kay", "momthing", "FalconPrss" and "LeighChapel" among others. I've extracted some of the more, um, noble sentiments below. 

"Catherine Kay" posted the original "On Harry Potter Porn and an Appeal" in the ASCEM Yahoo group and the corresponding news group: alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated. It was posted in SpockandChristine by "momthing" as message 29379 (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SpockandChristine/message/29379). 

The **original post** proposes "start[ing] a campaign to write a letter to the editors of our respective newspapers protesting Harry Potter slash fiction sites on the Internet." 

"Catherine Kay" later in message 29387 (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SpockandChristine/message/29387) gives the address of the Warner Bros. legal VP, and expresses concern that the sales of Harry Potter books are second only to sales of Bibles. 

On December 4, in message 29393 (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SpockandChristine/message/29393) she announces that she's written to three Chicago papers and to her church, warning that "this stuff has incestuous themes and borders on pedophilia at times", and referring to "family safe sights" [sic]. 

She gives the full text of the letter, and also her name, town and phone number, which I can find no compelling reason to repeat here. 

* * *

In message 29381 (3 December, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SpockandChristine/message/29381) "Falcon Prss", **suggests other tactics:**

"Perhaps more should be done than writing to a newspaper editor. Find out what domains host these sites and complain vigorously to the folks there. Write to the publishers of the Potter books and tell them what you are finding. I should think that they would be very interested in going after people who are using their copyrighted material to produce what is no less than child pornography." 

* * *

Another poster is "LeighChapel", who is cheery on Dec 4, in message 29404 (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SpockandChristine/message/29404) saying: 

"hey don't sound so downhearted, we've only just BEGUN! I have been in contact with one of our red-hot journalists and he too is on the case! People are obviously finding it difficult to know where to draw the line as far as propriety is concerned not to mention common decency, lets face it, we're never gonna STOP these sickos but we CAN make it difficult for them to continue. 

"Now I'm just gonna put my cape and tights back in the laundry basket and look forward to some decent textual experiences." 

* * *

In message 28418 (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SpockandChristine/message/29418) Maria (momthing) says: "I am all for freedom of speech. I am not in favor of censorship, but I think sometimes it is necessary...like in time of war, for example. . . . "I say again, THIS list is adult oriented. WE are NOT the ones who are in the business of luring children into reading about minors indulging in sexual activities. I say keeping our mouths shut in order to protect ourselves from possible repercussions is taking the coward's way out. WE can always modify the fiction on this list to a G rated content if we have to. WE have that choice. I know I've already done it with many of my stories. . . . "But if we don't rock the boat, then these people who host these websites are going to continue luring innocent children to their sites and promoting pedophilia. Although they refuse to see this." 

* * *

The SpockandChristine list has a membership of only 167 members. The moderator alreadly told the posters to this topic to "take it outside", a phrase she may have borrowed from her local bartender. 


End file.
